New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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