Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
