just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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