According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
