And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
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There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
tell me about the eggs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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