Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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