the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
