There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
