she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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