She's JV to your varsity
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
