im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
