IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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