Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
