sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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