dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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