I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think my vagina is haunted
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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