Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
