dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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