It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
