I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
