i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
