just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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