Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
