what day is it and did you see me today?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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