The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
