I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We don't watch enough power rangers
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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