i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
