I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
