hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize