I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize