he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
