i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize