I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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