its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
