is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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