I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
