I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to make a zoo with you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
