But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
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tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?