I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.