I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Randomize
