How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
