You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
