doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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