mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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