Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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