I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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