If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
