i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
