I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
