butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
