Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
