I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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