I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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