I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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