I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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