STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
this is an emotional support booty call
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize