Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
