dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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