I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
