i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
