During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
