its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize