omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize