I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
