Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
