true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have tasted many bathrooms
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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